A blog for the New Zealand creative advertising industry, now at www.campaignbrief.com/nz. Email news to: michael@campaignbrief.com

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Finally - someone putting their money where their mouths are!

I just bought some tyres from Firestone Direct and was really impressed.
They didn't rip me off, understood exactly the type of tyres I needed for my
car, and were generally good buggers to deal with.

The reason I'm sending this in though, is because I found out about their
Price Beater Guarantee - they promise to beat any competitor's quote on car
tyres or they give you a hundy, in cash!

I went down to the branch on the Strand but apparently they do that in all
their stores.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I went to the supermarket the other day to buy some Continental Soup but I couldn't find it.

That's because they've changed the packaging.

It's the one with the big C on it.

(What's that?)

The one with the big C on it. You'll find it right where it's always been, but now looking even better.


2:34 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cheers Scott

3:00 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

No worries Ben.


3:51 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Folks. I hereby apologise for one of our suits getting on our creative blog site. As for you Ben, I'm sure there's a David Gray or Coldplay chatroom you could play on.

Bob Kerrigan.

4:02 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Apology accepted.

Quick! Someone set up nzsuitcircle.blogspot.com

A place to talk about JCRs whatever the fuck they are.

4:07 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fantastic. They could talk about how much paper they shuffled and how many pills they stuck up their bums in the weekend.

4:12 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awesome idea. They could trade 'lazy creative' gags like"bring the afternoon paper did you?" or "got nothing do do have we?" and talk about their best brief lines this week like "incredible piece of kit" ,"vanilla","onion" and "media cloud".

4:17 PM NZST

Anonymous Anita Hoare said...

OK, that's just great. By any chance did you just forget to mention that you drove around and got a written quote from every tyre shop in Auckland to get the best price. Then went down there and got them to beat it? Or are you just a cretin?

4:19 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is someone in the process of setting this up? 'Tis genius.

4:27 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

nzsuitcircle, that is.

4:28 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who'd organise it. It would take 8 suits three weeks of discussion when to have the first meeting.

4:29 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What with P. O'Neil leaving, Ben has to take up the 'shimmer' effect.

4:36 PM NZST

Anonymous anonymouse said...

I just interupted a meeting where the suits were discussing the phrases they were going to use in a meeting with the client. They couldn't decide and agreed to meet in the morning to resolve it.

5:47 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will they be meeting over bagels or low-fat Muesli with low-fat yoghurt?

6:25 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I forgot to mention that most other competitors don't sell Firestone tires. Which since Firestone only sell firestone tires doesn't make it hard to beat. This is fuckin stupid.

Can the person who busted Todd with the agency and clients book please open it up and find out who the poor bastards who do Firestone advertising are. I'm gonna go around there and kick the mother fuckin junior creative who's written this mother fucking shit on this blog and kick their motherfucking heads in.

And really, who the fuck gives a fuckin shit about this fuckin $100 deal or even fucking tires. Did the motherfucker who wrote this motherfuckin shit actually get $100, did you actually know you got the best deal. For fucks sake, you make me so fuckin mother fuckin angery. Mother Fucker.

PS - I've found the best ones to buy are the parallel imported asian ones, they are bloody cheap and unless you are traveling 200kmh (V rated) for a fairly fuckin long time will do the trick.

9:44 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Also, do the motherfuckers actually require you to buy the fucking things. Because if they don't, I'm gonna open a mother fucking shop, and sell the dumb mother fuckin black rings for just a little bit less then tell the whole frickin world, just to watch the motherfuckiing cunts go broke. And don't think I fucking won't, because I'm that mother fucking angry at this post.

9:55 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I tell you what. I'm soooo angery now I can hardly swear. I just went to the Firestone site, just to prove this person is a cretin, and a shockingly designed pop up told me I just needed to buy some tires to get $100 off. The fucking (angry again) thing is dated 2005. The mother fucking junior has changed how they talk about this 'deal'. Except, no fucker bothered to fucking tell the stupid motherfuckers who do the really fuckin shit website. FUCK.

Mind you, the $100 cash back if you can find it cheaper thing works better for me than just $100 off. But only if I was as thick as pig shit, like more than half this country.

So nice work, but if I find out who the little cunt is that posted this shameless piece of shit, I'll fucking kill you.

10:10 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

lay off the crack.

7:51 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The guy who wrote the original email is a junior suit called Ben. He works at Whybins. He drives a Rav 4.

Whybins do the Firestone ads. I think his strategy is to come across as the really enthusiastic - but ultimately annoying - suit who thinks writing stuff like this will make up for lack of insights and clear, defined, briefs.

He came from Saatchis.

8:01 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with the angry person. It was as transparent as the beer at a wellington cricket match. Not very clever to put on here.

8:28 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, more appropriate for http://nzsuitscircle.blogspot.com/ the new, hip and happening place for people who wear loafers and business shirts with 'wild' prints over the top.

8:35 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://nzsuitscircle.blogspot.com/ - Brilliant. It's good to know that a creative didn't write it.

8:55 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Once again, apologies everyone for the suit, especially the guy on P.

9:20 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

As Bob said - it was not a junior creative who wrote this shameless piece of client promotion on our blog site, it was a suit.

We are taking steps to ensure this kind of stuff doesn't happen again. The tyres (Bridgestone RE54s) on his RAV4 (complete piece of shit car that remind me of a mini with a hunk of plastic bunged on the side of it) are being let down as we speak.



9:24 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You'll notice the P guy actually posted his first comment at 9.55. Probably still at work trying to art direct a circle.

9:31 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about a good old peice of African necklacing with those peice of shit tyres, whatever the fuck they cost, for this peice of shit poster, shameless...

9:35 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ben Pegler. Now Ben the Junior Suit.

Any more people with the name Ben we can take the piss out of?

Yes, there is. Karl Fleet.

9:36 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Or he spent 4 hours trying to figure out how to do those xcvjkfkg code things and press send.

9:36 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Guys, could you please hurry up and finish those scripts? I'm off to see the client in 10min..

From the suit that looks like George from Desperate Housewives.

9:39 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not on P, just understandably angry.

9:47 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

RE54s? I prefer the Bridgestone D694, myself. It's a great tyre, especially in the wet whether you off-road regularly, or just want to drive down to the shops.

9:57 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You P smokers all say that.

10:02 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry guys,

The letting down of the tyres didn't work.

I'm just gunna go up there and punch him now.


10:05 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Guys, it's happened before and it needs to be stopped. There are suits on our site again. This is almost worse than the poms invading our agencies.

10:05 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Luckily they stick out like a ladyboy in prison. It really was pathetic. "generally good bugger to deal with" If I pulled this line on my CD he'd bugger me for sure.

10:16 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, but the poms do such great ideas that are stolen from movies and TV shows.

They come with such great hype. They are always such a let down.

10:16 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Necklacing, see him burn baby burn.

10:26 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Make a change from the pearl necklaces they so greatfully receive from clients.

11:04 AM NZST

Anonymous A Suit said...

Guys. I really don't like the font on this site.

11:21 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I once heard one mention that he thought the type needed some curding.

He meant kearning.



11:25 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was a typically thoughtless and disrespectful thing that suit did. What a soul-less sellout. Especially seeing as there's better deals around, like ANZ now have a competitive home loan rate, plus you get a free holiday with any loan drawn down before april 3rd.

11:26 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry I'm late on the site today guys, just had to get my comment sighed off by Ben Sendrove.

11:28 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, looks like P guy finally got some sleep.

11:31 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well your going to have to change your comment, the client doesn't like it and they're always right. After all, at the end of the day they pay your wages...

11:34 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's you again isn't it Ben?

You can borrow Brendon's spade.

11:59 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

And what the fuck is a "Migrationary Brief" ???????


12:08 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

11:34 - It's 'you're' not your! What is wrong with you? How hard is it? Or are you just picking it up like bird flu from other illiterates?

12:16 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Briscoes have got a sale on!

12:18 PM NZST

Anonymous Tarquin said...

I'm a suit. SUIT SUIT SUIT. Are you all having a boo that we've discovered your little paypen then eh? Why don't you get back to your benches and and your D&AD annuals and look for some more ideas and let us get on with actually holding it all together. You know you really don't do anything, don't you. You claim to be burning the midnight oil but you've left the work so late that you have to. And you all think you're so fucking clever. Truth is that without us you wouldn't last five minutes. All your clients would have fired your hairy arses by now.
And where's that trade ad you lazy fuck.

12:28 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Right motherfucker. I'm motherfucking angry again. Go away and write a strategy for the creative we've already done so you can justify your miserable existence to the world. You're not fooling any motherfucker.

12:34 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is getting even sillier than usual.

12:34 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymouse said...


You could have just said "Fuck you all."

12:58 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

He's mixing his crack with his P again.

1:00 PM NZST

Anonymous jello Biafra said...

Is Tarquin a boy or girls name?

1:08 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now now lets all calm down. We all need each other and we know it. We need suits to plate the clients, media because no-one else in their right minds would want to do that job, production because not everyone can go to university, planners because it's probably safer to have them in an agency than on the client side, and creatives to stand outside pubs and look crucial.

1:10 PM NZST

Anonymous Tarquin said...

Is Jello a dessert or an anal lubricant?

1:11 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

A "Migrationary Brief" is one that's so bad that the work it causes results in the client migrating to another agency.

1:11 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

A "Migrainery Brief" is one that is jolly difficult to crack.

1:14 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...


Go home pom.

1:18 PM NZST

Anonymous Jello Biafra said...

Why do you ask about anal lube?

Do you always receive arse-punches from clients?

1:19 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...



1:20 PM NZST

Anonymous Tarquin said...

Man. Just came out of this excellent meeting where we really nailed a classic migrationary brief.

Don't really have a proposition yet but will just show the guys a few of the old ads and see what they come up with.

The we'll write a reverse brief and brief it in to a different team.

Man this job's hard when you forget the keyboard shortcuts for copying and pasting.

1:38 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry Tarquin,

Can't help. We're all on Macs. They're logical.

Go buy some tyres.

1:44 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jello, meet me in the toilets in the Domain (South End) at 9:30 (got a trade ad to do) tonight.

1:57 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Orrr god... now we've got bumfuckery going on on this blog. What next; a client?

2:00 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ben Sendrove's Diary

Wednesday 22nd 12:30pm

Guerilla marketing attempt made for client, posted a heart-felt, yet down-to-earth entry on nzcreativecircle. Aiming to spread wom marketing through buzz. Inspired, if do say so myself. The big R will be well pleased with my initiative. He's so amazing, think I have what it takes to make the move up to acc director, just need to keep coming up with inspired, out-of-the-box marketing ideas like these.

Wednesday 22nd 10pm
Just logged back into the blog to see if my entry caused much buzz. (mental note: use that term in discussion to client to sound like I have my finger on the pulse) Seems people aren't that happy with my post. I don't understand why. So glad the site is anonymous! Lucky for me no one knows it's me that posted it. Hope R doesn't find out. Hope the client doesn't find out! Anyway, I'm sure that tomorrow will bring some more positive responses and kudos for me. Fingers crossed. A little anxious but will listen to my James Blunt cd to calm myself before I go to sleep. Hmm, is tomorrow going to be a pink shirt day, or should I go for the light blue one? Wonder if my ass looks a little chunky in the dark blue pants I normally wear with the pink shirt. Might go with light blue shirt and black pants - more slimming. Big day ahead after all!

Wednesday 22nd 10:10pm
Bugger me, somebody has threatened to kill me. That's just going to far. This would never happen in the Mother land. Fucking colonies.

Thursday 23rd 8:05am
Fuck, fuck, fuck. I've been outed. Not only that, they referred to me as a 'junior' suit. Wankers. I'm not a junior. Called me ultimately annoying...implied I lack insights. How should I deal with this? How would the big R deal with this? I have insight, I'm fucking British.

Thursday 23rd 9:30am
Dirtied my hands changing my tyres. One of my own let them down. This is not a good day. Can barely concentrate on the contact report I'm writing. Disastrous. Resolve never to post on that blog again. Worst of all, now everyone knows I drive a rav 4. Should have bought that old beemer after all. Always been embarrassing that rav 4. Can't exactly rock up to Prego in it.

Thursday 23rd 10:20am
Got blood on my shirt. One of my own punched me in the nose. Devastated. Don't understand how this could have turned out so badly. Bugger, bugger, bugger. Caught the receptionist sniggering, I wonder if it was about me.

Thursday 23rd 10:28am
Now they are calling me a ladyboy. Must stop refreshing blog page and finish this contact report. Will not log in again for the rest of the day. So depressed I ate one of the chocolate bars from reception. Can feel it on my thighs already.

Thursday 11:30am
I couldn't help myself, had to log in. Things just got worse; they've used my last name too. Everyone is smirking at me. I think my ass looks chunky in these pants anyway. Fuck. Utterly disastrous day.

Thursday 1:57pm
Phew! Looks like the discussion has moved on from me. Thank god. Let's just hope no one mentions me again! Feeling better, just finished my best ever contact report.

2:43 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

genius Rob.

2:59 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the line was just crossed there.


5:03 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahahahahahahahaha. That's fucken funny.

5:58 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Genius. I cried.

6:34 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that'll be the last piece of moronic suit spam we'll be seeing on the site for a while. Nice, nice work 2:43pm.

My favourite bit from Ben's initial post is the 'hundy' word. Trying so hard to sound like a kiwi.

7:40 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting isn't it how you are all worshiping an anonymous creative team, who obviously have got so much fucking time on there hands that either their career or agency are dead in the water.
My advice to them would be to spend any extra time they have on finding a different job. Because if this is as creative as you all get... you're well fucked.

8:13 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That you Ben?

8:21 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"there hands" - bloody suits.

12:46 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I could be completely off base here, but don't Mother in the UK operate without suits?

The Poms can't be completely retarded.

Maybe it was just something I dreamed of.

9:28 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I had a fiver for every time I'd heard a creative say "who needs suits?" I'd have a lot of fivers. So many start-ups have tried operating without suits and inevitably end up hiring them because it's such a shit job that sidetracks you from doing ads. The time it takes to argue the toss with a client over the size of the logo is soul destroying. Just get used to the simple idea that you do the ads and the suit takes it to the client and you can't go wrong. It doesn't mean that you have to like them or anything.

9:56 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"So depressed I ate one of the chocolate bars from reception. Can feel it on my thighs already."

Brilliant piece of work 2.43.

Kia kaha Ben.

10:01 AM NZST

Anonymous Bitty Boy said...

I like suits but I couldn't eat a whole one

10:16 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Scott, can I borrow your sharpie?

10:27 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sure. But you're sitting opposite me. Has it really come to this? We work in a communications indus.... shit, sorry... sounding like a suit.


10:29 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

So much time on my hands . . . .

hmmm . . . .

Don't you think that Brendon McLean looks like George from desperate Housewives?

10:39 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

All I say say Ben is, if you don't want your drink spiked, don't go to Sponge.

11:00 AM NZST

Anonymous Uncle Bully said...

Yeah sorry Ben, I know its a lame way to meet people but I was to shy to just say hullo so I slipt a mickey into your tennents

11:05 AM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

'slipt'. Puuleeeese.

12:25 PM NZST

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I reckon you've both slipt up - puuleeeese.

3:18 PM NZST


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