A blog for the New Zealand creative advertising industry, now at www.campaignbrief.com/nz. Email news to: michael@campaignbrief.com

Friday, March 17, 2006

Flat Bush needs You!

Bloogers, on the fax overnight, new names needed urgently for a growing South Auckland suburb.

Flat Bush is not a good name because it reminds the poor middle-class residents-to-be of a relatively obscure 1970's US gangland film "The Lords of Flatbush" - and this is too close to Otara. Which is apparently too close to Brooklyn. Not Welllington, Brooklyn NY, NY. Or maybe it's the Bronx. I don't know. It's very hard to understand, the fax was all blurry.

Anyway, the Real Estate agents and the Botany Community Board need your creative help. Please faxhedi@gmail.com or post onto here with your ideas. This is very, very serious! It was in the Herald this morning!

So far the best name they have thought of is Ormiston. Which sounds like my contraceptive pill!!

Heidi xx


Anonymous Jello Biafra said...

I went there for the first time a couple of months ago.

I was with my evil sister driving around with the windows down playing the latest Fat Freddy's Drop album (nah, of course I wasn't, fucking hate that shit, bloody music for metro-sexuals and people who by Jack Johnson albums).

My sis ended up throwing stuff at people and abusing them because the architecture was so bad, and the houses were so cramped together.

Fashion. Taste. Architecture. Certainly none in Flat Bush.

On one street I even saw Sydney style terraced apartments. Which freaked me out a bit because you're right on the edge of town where there's plenty of land.

Fletchers bought all the land and has been develolping it badly for years making maximum yeilds. Remember their clause which states that "No state housing shall be built in the area".

You could almost hear the bitter yawns of discontent from the people who live there. One can only imagine how many 'P' labs there are out there. Probably more than there are right now in the Metropolis Apartments.

Apparently, the City Council wants to jam in 300,000 people. That's a lot of drug users.

Jello's suggestion: Avoid at all costs, especially as there are approx 37 traffic lights to contend with between there and my home.

Jello's name suggestion: Crampsville

9:15 AM NZDT

Anonymous heidi said...

Thank you Jello!

9:22 AM NZDT

Anonymous Jello Biafra said...

Thanks Heidi.

Want to hang out together in the K Road Cemetary tonight? I've got a couple of casks of Shiraz and the latest AFI album to listen to.

10:13 AM NZDT

Anonymous Anonymous said...

And who named "Fruitlands" out West?

Another one that's been pissing me off: "Dannemora" - It's like some kind of horrible depressing disease... sorry darling, not tonight, I've got a touch of Dannemora.


10:18 AM NZDT

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually I quite like the old skool kiwi style of 'Flatbush.' Almost as good as that other droll 'tell it like it is' name - Dairy Flat.

10:20 AM NZDT

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Flatbush is a shaven pussy, isn't it?

10:46 AM NZDT

Anonymous Anonymous said...


12:24 PM NZDT

Anonymous Anonymous said...

10.46, have you ever....never mind.

It is St Patrick's Day after all.

12:26 PM NZDT

Anonymous Anonymous said...


Yes I have.

On two girls, at once, in my bath, with my mother's razor.

1:07 PM NZDT


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